09
Mar
10

New from Exodar: the All-Terrain Elekk

Tired of having to re-shoe your horse all the time? The price of fresh meat for your saber cat weighing you down? Try an All-Terrain Elekk, new from the Exodar Elekk Consortium! Each Elekk comes with a personal certificate of excellence from the Prophet* himself and is twice-blessed by a servant of the Holy Light before offered up for purchase.

(* Aonar the Elekk Prophet; the Exodar Elekk Consortium makes no claims to be in any way related to the Prophet Velen and take no responsibility for any potential misunderstandings regarding any possible affiliation.)

Why settle for a low, bumpy ride when you can elegantly trod down the land in an elegant All-Terrain Elekk! Each of our Elekks come with fully cusioned seats and special balance training to make your journey as smooth as possible. Fashionable armor plating keeps both You and your All-Terrain Elekk safe from low branches as well as whatever dangerous predators* You might come across during Your journeys.

(* the Exodar Elekk Consortium in no way guarantees the survival of any All-Terrain Elekks in case of predator attack, bandit ambush, open warfare or any other dangerous environment)

Feel like the endless shorelines are an ever-present impediment to your travelling urges? No more! The Exodar Elekk Consortium All-Terrain Elekks are fully capable* of traversing any water landscape from small rivers to the open oceans. Enjoy the vast, unexplored plains of the water surface from the comfort of your seat!

(* Water walking addition sold seperately by your local Shaman or Alchemist. The Exodar Elekk Consortium takes no responsibility for random attacks by water-bound animals such as sharks.)

Jealous of all the Gryphons and Hippogryphs who float efforlessly through the air? Our All-Terrain Elekks are guaranteed* to sail majestically through the very skies themselves, making You the envy of the very birds themselves!

(* for a few seconds. The Exodar Elekk Consortium takes no responsibility for any damage caused by sudden contact with the ground. Optional Parachute package sold seperately)

But that is not all! In these tumultuous times, the Exodar Elekk Consortium have thought ahead, and every All-Terrain Elekk is fully capable of underwater travel in case of possible eventual cataclysmic flooding, enabling You to explore the very depths of the oceans themselves*!

(* The Exodar Elekk Consortium considers it the responsibility of the User to ensure that User and All-Terrain Elekk are both sufficiently supplied with air for the journey and are not liable for any unfortunate drowning accidents that may occur if User fails to ensure sufficient air supply.)

(* the Exodar Elekk Consortium takes no responsibility for whether the actual elements will agree to being conquered or not and will not be held liable for rainstorms, floods, flash fires, lightning strikes, hurricane winds, sudden temperature changes, earthquakes or cataclysms that may result in actually conquering actual elements. Consult your local Shaman for health and safety tips)

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36 Responses to “New from Exodar: the All-Terrain Elekk”


  1. March 9, 2010 at 15:14

    OMG this is sooooo funny..

    Great post – cheers

    Love your ‘riders of responsibility’ ‘)

  2. March 9, 2010 at 17:34

    …must…buy…….Elekk!

  3. 3 Thalis
    March 9, 2010 at 18:25

    *laughs*
    All right, but my opinion is unshakable: World is best seen from the back of Frostsaber.

  4. 4 Shadowmarth
    March 9, 2010 at 19:00

    When the going gets though, you know you should have bought an All-Terrain Elekk.

    Great commercial, shame it’s alliance only.

    • March 9, 2010 at 22:17

      Agreed….
      I love my current Black Warbear though…..man we killed Tyrande so bad -evil laugh-
      Wait…shouldn’t have said that, Nhani could ban me….urghm….urghm….
      We beat Varian down so bad he’s bit a speck of blood on the ground, For the Horde!

      ….

      I want my Elekk now…

      • 6 Nhani
        March 10, 2010 at 09:54

        >:o

        You can not hide from the stars, mortal cretin; you will know endless regret!

        • March 10, 2010 at 11:53

          Would It help if i said a wept a single tear when she downed?
          A tear from a something in my eye, but still a tear.

          However i did feel regret for Velen….felt like i was beating up my own grandpa…and i still want my Elekk! >.<

          • 8 Thalis
            March 10, 2010 at 14:48

            Elune forgive him, because he was blinded by malevolence and he didn’t know what he’s done. However, I cannot forgive you, because by me, anyone who raised his hand against Tyrande damned his soul to Hell for all eternity.

          • 9 Gordrake Thunderhoof
            March 11, 2010 at 08:35

            I would think that even the Earthmother would turn her head from your actions…senseless violence only leads to continued aggression between the people of Azeroth. Especially if it’s only to obtain a creature that even now evades your grasp.

            With Varian, I could understand…he seems to dislike the Horde greatly, and removing such a vengeful soul from power would do the humans a great benefit. The others…I doubt I could ever understand the true reasoning for the attacks.

            • March 11, 2010 at 09:29

              Velen smelled funny, Magni is rude at the dinner table and Mekkatorque is fun to pick at XD.

              The RL reasons why i did ‘For the Horde’ was because i grew frustrated with losing Wintergrasp for the uptenth time, as did the others in the area.

              In my Rp however i made it so the Warchief gave it to Gorvar for his years of service for the Horde.

            • 11 Nhani
              March 11, 2010 at 09:57

              I’ve never been able to bring myself to do the For the Alliance quest with Nhani; with another character I might consider it if the opportunity comes, but never with Nhani. It’s simply not defensible for a whole lot of reasons.

              For starters, she’s keenly aware that foes like the Old Gods or the Legion will benefit far more from open warfare between the Horde and the Alliance than either faction will, and she’s pretty determined not to play into their hands. Especially since she has some renown and might be recognized.

              More importantly however.. I seem to recall an official note that both Tyrande and Malfurion consider Thrall their friend; at which point it would take some some very extraordinary circumstances before Nhani’d even consider violence against his person anywhere near an acceptable course of action.

            • 12 Thalis
              March 11, 2010 at 13:44

              Not only I don’t have For the Alliance, but I also call names everytime I see related achievements in /guild. I like Cairne, Lorthemar is like others, Sylvanas is not nice, but can be withstood, and Thrall I respect most. However, in the Cata, I probably get 1/4, because Garrosh needs his bottom kicked between his ears (this may subject to change).

            • 13 Gordrake Thunderhoof
              March 12, 2010 at 11:02

              Well…my take on things from both sides of the border:

              For the Horde:
              Varian – Only works for Garrosh-style Orcs.
              Magni – No excuses, dwarves have not struck out against any Horde races.
              Mekkatorque – They blew up their own home through ‘tinkering’. Tauren wouldn’t like.
              Tyrande – No excuse again. Go for Staghelm instead, do her a favour.
              Prophet – Looks like demons? Coming to Azeroth and bringing ruin?

              For the Alliance:
              Thrall – No real excuse, unless you’re a human/dwarf grudge-bearer. Kill Garrosh.
              Vol’jin – Possible for some Night Elves, considering Stonetalon’s kind.
              Cairne – No excuses, he’s peaceful if not disturbed. And I’ll hunt you if you do.
              Sylvanas – Humans may, since she makes a home in Lordaeron.
              Lorthemar? – Blood Elf. Alliance outcasts. Plenty of excuses.

              Unless you happen to be one of the common enemy races for the above, I would imagine you’d need a huge storyline to follow to make the achievement itself work RP-wise. Personally I won’t be going for the achievement on any of the RP servers since I can’t think of a reason why I’d want to kill an enemy of my enemy (I.E. the Legion).

            • 14 Moltrazahn
              March 14, 2010 at 00:54

              Thank you Gordrake 😀 you made me realise, now that thrall is going missing, i can get to smack Garrosh *nods*… since he will be most likely filling in on the “For the Alliance” req… god i wanna smack him and Varian at times… darn warmongers, go back to the second war both of them >.>

            • 15 Gordrake Thunderhoof
              March 16, 2010 at 10:39

              If half of the rumours are true, I think Gordrake’d want to kill him as well when Cata comes around. Sadly there’s no “For the Bloodhoof clan!” achievement.

  5. 16 Jai
    March 9, 2010 at 21:43

    I love Elekks, and this made me laugh. Hard. My roommate had to come in and see what all my fuss was about.

  6. 17 Aries
    March 9, 2010 at 23:02

    Nhani, i would like to present you with one internet…slightly used…but its yours, you win.

  7. 18 Gordrake Thunderhoof
    March 10, 2010 at 10:57

    I guess…there’s just some moments that have to be carried out. I guess this random moment is one of them – else it’s a celebration that you got the big Elekk in that post? I can’t tell, myself – too busy laughing at how the goblins would likely take this idea up for themselves!

    • 19 Nhani
      March 10, 2010 at 11:06

      This is an example of one of those sorts of occasion that usually causes the Yelnenu chat to exclaim who ever allowed me access to sugar or otherwise intoxicating or mind-warping substances should stop. I come up with this kind of random foolery far too often to count; occasionally I’ll even make something out of it, like this.

      I believe the common response tends to be some permutation of “…wtf?”

      • 20 Gordrake Thunderhoof
        March 10, 2010 at 12:09

        Much like some of the other ideas you’ve had back in the archives? =P

        Seriously, though, it’s nice to have a bit of a laugh at random stuff sometimes. Frankly, I’d be telling them to feed the sugar in on regular doses just to make sure everyone gets a grin on their face once in a while. Or perhaps, in the middle of an argument, cry out “BRING IN THE SUGAR!” and just kinda…slide you into the sugar bowl.

        I don’t think your Yelenites would want me as a part of the group. I think I could be just naturally mad, no sugar required. Only difference here is that you can make things like this and I…well…can’t. But yeah…the term “WTF” sometimes registers to certain things. Oddly enough, though, it didn’t for me this time.

        Could be because I tried to make sense of nonsense…

        …wait, wtf am I saying? o.o;

  8. 21 Larsey
    March 10, 2010 at 13:00

    Haha awesome! If i ever bought one i’d call it Dumbo

  9. 22 Railena
    March 10, 2010 at 16:13

    Brilliant! This gave me quite the laugh. I have always considered the Elekk to be a rather smooth ride compared to the other mounts available, especially my bear who rocks back and forth in his stride so violently it could give me whiplash. You are welcome to bring more random, it makes my day!

  10. 23 saila aka wester
    March 10, 2010 at 17:24

    i think there are more that was thinking WTF but as i myself kept that thing to myself…
    SOME one make an you tube video out of this.

    • 24 Gordrake Thunderhoof
      March 11, 2010 at 08:24

      …it’s the Internet. Chances are by the time you posted that, someone’s seen this post and already made the video to go with it. With voiceovers inclusive.

      It’s one of those old Internet rules…”If you can think of it, it’s out there somewhere.”

      • 25 saila aka wester
        March 11, 2010 at 11:46

        think that would be Rule 34 but whit an more gentle bent.
        and am on the lookout for that commercial.

        • 26 Gordrake Thunderhoof
          March 12, 2010 at 11:07

          I know it was a well-known Internet rule. Just keep forgetting the number.

          • March 12, 2010 at 16:37

            I know somewhere there is some guy allready busy with writing or drawing Nhani and her Draenei friend. I mean look at Cru’s latest vote motivator, perfect example of Rule 34.

            • 28 saila aka wester
              March 13, 2010 at 10:54

              i keep the number in my bookmarks so that i always can fast find the right one would an reason occur. and by the way haven’t seen any Rule 34 of Hani, tiny or Tee…. yet dang it if some one makes something be cos of i said it then i wouldn’t be able to continue see this comic.

            • 29 Nhani
              March 13, 2010 at 11:40

              I don’t think the Beyond the Tree cast is quite famous enough – especially not in that sort of direction – for it to happen. Let’s face it, if you’d want lightly dressed night elven women to draw jumping around showing skin or enacting damsel in distress then you’ll find a whole lot more of them in game or, indeed, in official art.

  11. 30 Ewiryh
    March 10, 2010 at 19:54

    Brilliant, simply brilliant.

  12. 31 Elnória
    March 10, 2010 at 23:03

    This was crazy (or, as aforementioned, a tad [i]WTF[/i], even)! But thanks for making my evening yet again! This was so funny it finally got me trying out commenting, so while I’m at it, thanks for the whole awesome comic as well! Keep up the good work!

  13. 32 Elveswarrior
    March 11, 2010 at 12:32

    we got the AT-AT (All Terrain Armored Transport), AT-ST (All Terrain Scout Transport), AT-TE (All Terrain Tactical Enforcer) and now the AT-E ? 😄 if you have a gnome make a Mechanical replica of an elekk and mount lasers instead of tusks we might aswell just clal it an AT-AT ^^

    /starwars nerd mode off

  14. 33 saila aka wester
    March 15, 2010 at 08:59

    Nhani don´t remind me playing wow at low levels as female is still an pain wile using bikini “Armour”.
    and lets hope we don´t see any rule 34 for beyond the tree or minimal amount.

  15. 35 saila aka wester
    March 18, 2010 at 14:54

    any one seen the any video advertise yet?


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